That’s all there is to self-confidence, yet people keep on complicating it and portraying it as a magical ability of the blessed few.
How do you develop faith in your ability to do something?
By doing it.
That’s the only way to develop self-confidence in anything.
For instance, if I ask you, “Are you confident enough to tie your shoelaces?”, you’d probably think, “What kind of a silly question is that?” because you’re pretty sure that you can tie shoelaces.
But why? Why are you confident that you can tie shoelaces?
It’s because you’ve done it successfully many times in the past. The belief, “I can tie shoelaces” is deeply ingrained in your mind.
Now, what if I asked someone, “Are you confident enough to speak in public?” knowing very well that they’ve never done that before? Of course, they’d reply with something like, “I’m not sure. No, I don’t think I can do that confidently.”
But why? Why do they doubt their public speaking ability?
It’s simply because they’ve hardly done it before and so the belief “I can give a presentation” hasn’t been ingrained into their psyche yet.
For example, you may be super-confident about your knowledge of the latest gadgets but totally un-confident when it comes to interacting with people.
|It’s true that extreme self-confidence in one life area can positively affect other life areas. But developing self-confidence in each separate life area is a more reliable strategy.|
“I am dumb” “I can’t play basketball” “I can’t make friends” “I can’t speak to large groups of people” etc. are examples of negative, limiting beliefs.
1) Identify the negative, limiting beliefs
Obviously, the process of getting rid of beliefs requires you to first identify what those beliefs are. This can be done by identifying the situations or tasks in which you don’t feel confident. Instead of feeling bad that you lack confidence, congratulate yourself that you now have found an enemy that you’ll be seeking to defeat in the coming future!
2) Change your beliefs
In a previous post about subconscious programming, I said that the only sure-fire way to change your beliefs is to take actions that can replace those beliefs with the beliefs you want. For example, if you want to get rid of the belief, “I’m no good at public speaking” then it can only be done by giving as many public speeches as you can till your subconscious is convinced that you can handle the task of public speaking.
When you’re trying to change your beliefs it is crucial that you keep on improving with every new attempt. This means learning from your previous mistakes and avoiding them the next time. This way it won’t take much longer to develop the beliefs that you want.
Beliefs need to get reinforced from time to time so that they become stronger and stronger. If nothing is done to reinforce them, then they may become weaker as time passes because our mind keeps on collecting new information and updating its belief system.