An assertive person, therefore, is the one who can express his emotions, needs, and opinions to others without being forceful in any way.
An assertive person will not sacrifice his own wants and needs just to please others. This is because an assertive person is usually a self-confident person with a high self-esteem. He does not give much weight to the opinion of others and he doesn’t submissively comply with any demand that others make of him if it went against his will.
|An assertive person tactfully avoids the resistance that he might have otherwise faced by making sure that he places his demands without hurting the other person’s ego|
What causes non-assertiveness?
That’s why non-assertive people try to avoid- if they can- the situations where they may be required to be assertive. A non-assertive person may not ask for his rights because he thinks that it will offend the other person!
If a child who expressed his emotions was discouraged from doing so, then also he may fail to become assertive. Subconsciously, he still thinks that expressing his true emotions is inappropriate behavior that would make people dislike him. Non-assertiveness is, therefore, nothing but learned behavior that can be unlearned.
We usually feel a little sad and disappointed when we are not assertive because our rights have been violated. However, if this continues for some time, these emotions can get accumulated and make us feel really bad. If you act assertively whenever needed, then you will short-circuit this accumulation of emotions. Also, it will give an important boost to your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Non-assertiveness can lead to frustration because you are constantly failing to safeguard your rights. This constant frustration can cause you to become aggressive. It is very common for a non-assertive person who suppresses his emotions, under the pressure of these accumulated emotions, to suddenly burst into very aggressive behavior.
Needless to say, they got into a severe fight and the relationship ended.
Hanan Parvez (M.B.A., M.A. Psychology) has written 300+ articles at www.psychmechanics.com, a blog with over 3 million views and 100k monthly visitors. His work has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Reader’s Digest, and Entrepreneur.