People with abandonment issues fear losing their loved ones. This fear often stems from how they were treated by their parents in childhood. If one’s parents were accepting, responsive, and loving, they develop a strong sense of self and feel secure in relationships.
On the other hand, neglect, indifference, and unresponsiveness from parents leave children feeling insecure.
This insecurity in a close and important relationship carries over into adulthood and negatively affects the person’s romantic relationships.
Abandonment issues may also be caused by traumatic events involving the loss of a loved one such as death or divorce.
People with abandonment issues are insecurely attached. It’s just a fancy way of saying that they’re anxious about losing their partners. This anxiety makes them behave in irrational ways to ‘preserve’ the relationship. Of course, these fear-based tactics backfire and ruin the relationship.
Taking the abandonment issues quiz
To gauge the level of your abandonment issues, this quiz uses the Experiences in Close Relationships- Revised (ECR-R) scale. It consists of 18 items with options ranging from Strongly disagree to Strongly agree.
Answer each item based on how you generally feel in intimate relationships, not just on how you’re feeling in your current relationship.
The test takes less than 2 minutes to complete. No personal information is required and your results aren’t shared with anyone nor stored in our databases.
Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of personality and social psychology, 78(2), 350.