Abandonment issues quiz


People with abandonment issues fear losing their loved ones. This fear often stems from how they were treated by their parents in childhood. If one’s parents were accepting, responsive, and loving, they develop a strong sense of self and feel secure in relationships.

On the other hand, neglect, indifference, and unresponsiveness from parents leave children feeling insecure.

This insecurity in a close and important relationship carries over into adulthood and negatively affects the person’s romantic relationships.

Abandonment issues may also be caused by traumatic events involving the loss of a loved one such as death or divorce.

People with abandonment issues are insecurely attached. It’s just a fancy way of saying that they’re anxious about losing their partners. This anxiety makes them behave in irrational ways to ‘preserve’ the relationship. Of course, these fear-based tactics backfire and ruin the relationship.

Taking the abandonment issues quiz

To gauge the level of your abandonment issues, this quiz uses the Experiences in Close Relationships- Revised (ECR-R) scale. It consists of 18 items with options ranging from Strongly disagree to Strongly agree.

Answer each item based on how you generally feel in intimate relationships, not just on how you’re feeling in your current relationship.

The test takes less than 2 minutes to complete. No personal information is required and your results aren’t shared with anyone nor stored in our databases.

Abandonment issues quiz

1. I'm afraid that I will lose my partner's love.

2. I often worry that my partner will not want to stay with me.

3. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me.

4. I worry that romantic partners won’t care about me as much as I care about them.

5. I often wish that my partner's feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for him or her.

6. I worry a lot about my relationships.

7. When my partner is out of sight, I worry that he or she might become interested in someone else.

8. When I show my feelings for romantic partners, I'm afraid they will not feel the same about me.

9. I rarely worry about my partner leaving me.

10. My romantic partner makes me doubt myself.

11. I do not often worry about being abandoned.

12. I find that my partner(s) don't want to get as close as I would like.

13. Sometimes romantic partners change their feelings about me for no apparent reason.

14. My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away.

15. I'm afraid that once a romantic partner gets to know me, he or she won't like who I really am.

16. It makes me mad that I don't get the affection and support I need from my partner.

17. I worry that I won't measure up to other people.

18. My partner only seems to notice me when I’m angry.


Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of personality and social psychology78(2), 350.