Have you ever asked yourself the following questions:
Do I have the capacity to love?
Am I even capable of loving?
People usually ask these questions after a failed relationship or not being in one for a long time. They doubt if they can genuinely love others.
Being social mammals, we’re all wired to love and get attached to others. But some factors can limit our capacity to love. Researchers and clinicians have identified these factors.
Capacity to love meaning
The capacity to love means being able to overcome or manage the factors that tend to harm relationships. While this can apply to any relationship, we’re focusing here on romantic relationships.
If your capacity to love is high, your relationship is likely stable and healthy. If your capacity to love is low, you’re likely to be in an unhealthy relationship.
If you and your partner both have a high capacity to love, your relationship will feel effortless and harmonious. If both partners have a low capacity to love, the relationship is doomed.
If one partner has a high and another has a low capacity to love, then the ‘high’ partner must help the ‘low’ partner become ‘high’ for the relationship to thrive.
I looked at the research on the various factors that limit one’s capacity to love and designed this test around those factors.
We can break down the capacity to love into ten major sub-capacities or dimensions:
- Loss acceptance
Taking the capacity to love test
This test is meant for those currently in a romantic relationship or who have been in one in the past. It tests how you act in your relationship. This comprehensive test consists of 50 items on a 5-point scale ranging from Strongly agree to Strongly disagree.
Completing this test will give you a fair idea about the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. The test is confidential, and we don’t store the results in our database.
- Kernberg, O. F. (2011). Limitations to the capacity to love. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 92(6), 1501-1515.
- Kapusta, N. D., Jankowski, K. S., Wolf, V., Chéron-Le Guludec, M., Lopatka, M., Hammerer, C., … & Blüml, V. (2018). Measuring the capacity to love: development of the CTL-inventory. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1115.
Hi, I’m Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and author of PsychMechanics. I’ve published one book and authored 400+ articles on this blog (started in 2014) that have garnered over 4.5 million views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Reader’s Digest, and Entrepreneur. Feel free to contact me if you have a query.