Mother-daughter enmeshment checklist

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Enmeshment occurs in a relationship, when two people are too close to each other for it to be a healthy dynamic. It can happen in any relationship, but it is common in the parent-child dynamic.

When two people are in an enmeshed relationship, their boundaries become blurred or non-existent. It’s like the two people are the same person. They have the same thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and values.

Enmeshment leads to the fusion of identities and emotions. The two people become dependent on each other for their well-being. Their individual identities do not get the nourishment they need.

In the long run, both individuals suffer because they never get to learn to meet their own needs. Their enmeshed relationship negatively impacts their other relationships.

Mother-daughter enmeshment

If you’re a daughter who suspects you’re enmeshed with your mother, the checklist below will give you a good idea about the degree of enmeshment you might be experiencing.

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Mother-daughter enmeshment checklist

Check off items that apply.

Yes/No
My mother is over-involved in my life
She overly relies on me for emotional support
I overly depend on her for validation
I feel responsible for her well-being
I feel guilty when I assert my needs
I have to seek her approval for my decisions
She interferes in my relationships
She doesn't respect my space and privacy
I can't seem to disagree with her without starting a fight
I avoid upsetting her at all costs