Trauma bonding test (20 Items)

Trauma bonding happens when there’s a cycle of abuse going on in a relationship. Sometimes the other person is abusive towards you, and at other times, they’re good to you.

This creates an intermittent reinforcement pattern that hooks you to the relationship. You know there’s something wrong with the relationship, but you can’t leave because you’re waiting for the next high.

Trauma bonds can form in all kinds of relationships.

It can be hard to tell whether one is in a trauma bond or a normal relationship. This is because many of the things that occur in trauma bonds can also occur in normal relationships.

I’ve tried to include as many items as possible that apply specifically to trauma bonds in this test. So, getting a high score on this quiz makes it very likely that you’re in a trauma bond.

Taking the trauma bonding test

This test consists of 20 items on a 5-point scale ranging from Strongly agree to Strongly disagree. If you suspect you’ve trauma bonded with someone, keep them in mind and answer each item based on your entire relationship, not just recent events.

The results are only shown to you and not stored in our database.

Trauma bonding test

1. I try too hard to please them.

2. There are only extreme highs and lows in our relationship.

3. Our relationship is mostly chaotic and unpredictable.

4. I'm always trying to fix them, hoping for them to change.

5. I'm constantly walking on eggshells with them.

6. I feel like I'm being forced to stay in the relationship.

7. They always break their promises.

8. I'm always trying to justify their abusive behavior.

9. I refuse to doubt them, regardless of how harmful their behavior may be.

10. They haven't changed their behavior for me at all.

11. I tend to only focus on their positive behaviors.

12. I sacrifice my own needs, wants, and well-being to meet their needs.

13. There's a lack of vulnerability and emotional depth in our relationship.

14. I oppose those who dare to question my partner about their actions.

15. I second-guess everything and over-rely on them to interpret reality for me.

16. I feel like I have no say in the relationship, and it seems that they make all the decisions.

17. I have withdrawn from friends and family.

18. I rely heavily on them for emotional support, validation, and a sense of identity.

19. I experience guilt and self-blame for the problems in the relationship.

20. I struggle to establish and enforce personal boundaries within the relationship.