Emotional abuse test (For any relationship)


Abuse in relationships can be physical or emotional. While physical abuse is obvious and needs no test, emotional abuse can sometimes leave the victim confused:

“Am I being emotionally abused or not?”

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse can easily hide under the shadows of things like ‘It was my fault’ or ‘Their anger was justified’.

Emotional abuse is characterized by a pattern of deliberate controlling and inhumane behavior. The emotional abuser, with their words and behavior, undermines the dignity and self-worth of the victim.

Emotional abuse affects the victim emotionally in that they’re likely to feel anxious, fearful, sad, depressed, or even develop PTSD.

Signs of emotional abuse include:

  • Criticizing and derogation
  • Blaming and shaming
  • Humiliation
  • Excessive control
  • Gaslighting and manipulation
  • Frequent boundary violations

Emotional abuse can occur in any type of relationship. Although it’s common in romantic relationships, marriages, and parent-child relationships, it can also happen in boss-employee relationships and friendships.

Taking the Emotional Abuse Test

This test is based on the common behavioral and verbal features present in emotional abuse. While doing this test, you need to keep one person in mind who you think is emotionally abusing you.

If you believe more than one person is emotionally abusing you, it’s recommended that you do the test separately for each person.

This test has 27 items and you have to choose between Agree and Disagree for each item. Select the option that best describes your abuser. Your results will only be displayed to you, and we don’t store them in our database.

Emotional abuse test

1. They continually criticize me and put me down.

2. They dictate what I should wear, who I should see, where I should go, and what I should think.

3. They monitor my social media profiles, read my emails or texts.

4. When I voice my thoughts, wants, and feelings, they dismiss me.

5. They make fun of me with their jokes.

6. They make it difficult for me to spend time with my friends and family.

7. They make fun of me because of my color, religious beliefs, culture, or sexual orientation.

8. They treat me like an inferior person or a child.

9. They downplay my achievements.

10. They make it difficult for me to pursue my personal interests and ambitions.

11. They give me the silent treatment or withhold approval, affection, or money to get their way.

12. They call me hurtful names.

13. Their anger towards me or someone else is an exaggerated reaction to a little issue.

14. They push my buttons on a regular basis.

15. They hold me responsible for their behaviors, emotions, and reactions.

16. They're unpredictable.

17. They treat me with disrespect, both in private and in public, humiliating me.

18. When we disagree, I feel compelled to keep my mouth shut for fear of them becoming enraged.

19. If I do not agree with their wishes, they threaten to abandon me.

20. They insist they're always right and I'm always wrong.

21. They're possessive or jealous to an unhealthy degree.

22. They frequently lie to me and gaslight me.

23. I feel I must get permission from them before going somewhere or making even small decisions.

24. They disregard my requests and only do what they believe is in my best interests.

25. They blame me or others for their unhappiness or problems.

26. They've forced me to do things against my will.

27. They infringe on my personal space and violate my privacy.