For a relationship to thrive, partners need to be available to each other physically and emotionally. Emotional availability of the partner makes one feel safe and secure in the relationship.
Emotional unavailability, in contrast, makes one feel insecure.
Romantic relationships and marriages are expected to fulfill one’s emotional needs. If one cannot meet their emotional needs from a partner, they feel frustrated, disappointed, and resentful. It leads to a decrease in emotional intimacy.
Usually, men tend to have problems with emotional connection because they generally value logic over emotions. An emotionally unavailable husband or boyfriend finds it hard to connect with his partner emotionally.
What causes emotional unavailability?
The answer could be as simple as because your husband is a man on the more masculine end of the gender spectrum. But there are other factors too that make emotional unavailability in men worse. Mainly:
- Attachment style
If your husband is going through a stressful time, his emotional unavailability may be unrelated to his personality.
If your husband’s emotional unavailability arises from his attachment style, you’ll notice that he shows a consistent pattern of emotional unavailability. You know that he cares about you but you can tell he struggles with emotional bonding.
People with avoidant attachment styles tend to show emotionally unavailable behaviors. In particular, those with the dismissive-avoidant attachment style. Healing one’s attachment style requires self-awareness and resolving childhood trauma.
Taking the emotionally unavailable husband quiz
This test is designed to assess the degree of emotional unavailability in your husband, mainly arising from his attachment style. It consists of 15 items on a 4-point scale ranging from Always to Never. I recommend focusing on your husband’s long-term behavior when answering, not just recent behavior.
Your results will only be visible to you and they’re not stored in our database.
If you feel you’re the one who’s emotionally distant from your partner and other people in your life, you can take this generalized emotional detachment test.