Definition
Cold mother syndrome is a pervasive pattern of maternal emotional detachment. It’s a style of parenting, specifically mothering, in which the mother is emotionally disconnected from her child. An emotionally cold mother fails to provide or provides inconsistent emotional:
- Warmth
- Support
- Validation
- Regulation
Emotional connection
The child not only seeks to meet its physical needs from the parents, but also its emotional needs. When the child’s primary caregiver, usually a mother, is emotionally available and responsive, the child feels emotionally safe. An emotionally safe child is likely to grow into an emotionally safe or secure adult.1Khaleque, A. (2013). Perceived parental warmth, and children’s psychological adjustment, and personality dispositions: A meta-analysis. Journal of child and Family studies, 22, 297-306.
Effects on the child
In contrast, a child who was emotionally neglected feels emotionally unsafe and grows into an emotionally unsafe or insecure adult.2Noori, M., & Siddique, N. E. A. (2023). Parental acceptance-rejection and psychological adjustment among young adults. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 11 (1), 201-211. Maternal emotional neglect significantly impacts a child’s self-esteem, emotional regulation, and relational skills.
When raised by an emotionally cold mother, the child has no ‘emotional mirror’ on which it can cast its emotions and understand them. As a result, the child gets disconnected from their own emotions and is likely to develop alexithymia- an inability to express emotions.3Parling, T., Mortazavi, M., & Ghaderi, A. (2010). Alexithymia and emotional awareness in anorexia nervosa: Time for a shift in the measurement of the concept? Eating behaviors, 11(4), 205-210.
Other consequences of cold mother syndrome include:
- Anxiety
- Depression4Rohner, R. P. (2004). The parental” acceptance-rejection syndrome”: universal correlates of perceived rejection. American psychologist, 59(8), 830.
- Hostility
- Feeling unloved and unworthy
About the test
This test isn’t meant to be a diagnosis and is for informational purposes only. It’s fully confidential. Your results are visible only to you and don’t get stored in our database. In case you get a high score, we recommend seeking professional help.
References
- 1Khaleque, A. (2013). Perceived parental warmth, and children’s psychological adjustment, and personality dispositions: A meta-analysis. Journal of child and Family studies, 22, 297-306.
- 2Noori, M., & Siddique, N. E. A. (2023). Parental acceptance-rejection and psychological adjustment among young adults. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 11 (1), 201-211.
- 3Parling, T., Mortazavi, M., & Ghaderi, A. (2010). Alexithymia and emotional awareness in anorexia nervosa: Time for a shift in the measurement of the concept? Eating behaviors, 11(4), 205-210.
- 4Rohner, R. P. (2004). The parental” acceptance-rejection syndrome”: universal correlates of perceived rejection. American psychologist, 59(8), 830.
