Hanan Parvez 
Being a social species, humans crave love, support, and care from others. Since human babies are born helpless and unable to tend to themselves, we have a natural fear of abandonment. Abandonment means being left helpless and unprotected. Having abandonment issues means having a persistent fear of being abandoned in your close relationships. If you
Brainwashing is the process of repeatedly indoctrinating a person with a new set of beliefs. It’s helpful to think of brainwashing in terms of identity. When someone is brainwashed, they ditch their old identity and acquire a new one. The indoctrinated beliefs that support the person’s new identity change their thoughts and behaviors. The person
People with abandonment issues fear being abandoned by their loved ones. Being the social species that we are, all of us dislike being abandoned by others, especially by our relatives and in-groups. While some level of this fear is normal, a person with abandonment issues lives in this fear constantly. Accepting and rejecting someone lies
Life is full of ups and downs. The ups are accompanied by positive emotions and the downs by negative emotions. Negative emotions bring discomfort and pain. The mind uses negative emotions to draw our attention to the pain. One could, theoretically, listen to one’s negative emotions, work through them and find solutions to end the
The ladder of inference is one of the most useful mental models I’ve come across to become a better thinker. Inference means deriving general conclusions from specific instances. The ladder of inference shows us the steps we take to make inferences and then act on those inferences. The ladder consists of six rungs with selected
We can broadly classify people into three types based on how they approach conflicts: 1. Conflict avoidants These are people who try to avoid all conflicts. This is generally a poor strategy and shows weakness. 2. Neutral personalities People who only pick conflicts that are worth picking. They understand some battles are worth fighting and
Dissociation is a psychological phenomenon in which a person feels disconnected from reality or from themselves. It occurs on a spectrum, ranging from mild to severe. Spacing out and daydreaming are common examples of mild dissociation. You may have noticed that they’re often triggered by mild discomfort, boredom, and information overload. The mind going blank
Masculinity and femininity exist on a spectrum. While most men are masculine, some have feminine tendencies, and some are ultra-masculine. Similarly, most women are feminine, some have masculine tendencies, and some are ultra-feminine. Levels of masculinity and femininity, like sexual orientation, are set before birth. Long story short, how masculine or feminine a person will
Learning is the process of moving from a state of not knowing to a state of knowing. Learning typically occurs by understanding new information, i.e., gaining knowledge or developing a new skill. Humans learn in a variety of ways. Some things are simple to learn while others are hard. The stages of learning described in
Lima syndrome is when a captor or abuser develops a positive connection with the captive. This positive connection could be sympathy, empathy, attachment, or even love. The captor, having developed a bond with the captive, does things in favor of the captive. Lima syndrome is the opposite of Stockholm syndrome, where a captive develops a