Enmeshed families are families where there are no psychological and emotional boundaries between the family members. The family members seem to be psychologically enmeshed or fused together.1 While enmeshment can occur in any relationship, it’s common in parent-child, especially mother-son relationships.2 The enmeshed child fails to develop a separate identity from their parent. They’re exactly …
Children experience trauma when they find themselves in a threatening situation. They’re particularly vulnerable to threats because they’re helpless and haven’t yet developed the ability to cope with frightening events. When children experience less-than-ideal circumstances at home or in society at large, they face Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). However, not all adverse childhood experiences necessarily …
There’s a process vs. content distinction in almost everything we do. Keeping in mind the difference between process and content can help you become more effective in everything you do. Content is simply the ‘what’ of things, and process is the ‘how’ of things. It’s often easier to come up with a ‘what’ than it …
“I miss you, not mentally but physically.” When my girlfriend said that to me recently, it left me scratching my head. I mean, I understood what she meant, but I’d never thought about ‘missing’ that way. People usually only say, “I miss you”. The fact that she specified a modality of ‘missing’ had me thinking. …
The ladder of inference is one of the most useful mental models I’ve come across to become a better thinker. Inference means deriving general conclusions from specific instances. The ladder of inference shows us the steps we take to make inferences and then act on those inferences. The ladder consists of six rungs with selected …
Learning is the process of moving from a state of not knowing to a state of knowing. Learning typically occurs by understanding new information, i.e., gaining knowledge or developing a new skill. Humans learn in a variety of ways. Some things are simple to learn while others are hard. The stages of learning described in …
Intuition and instinct may seem like the same concepts. In fact, many use these terms interchangeably. But they differ in important ways. An instinct is an innate behavioral tendency shaped by evolution to promote survival and reproductive success, mostly, in the present moment. Our instinctive behaviors are triggered in response to some environmental stimuli. Instincts …
Relationship dynamics can simply be defined as ‘everything that happens between two people in a relationship’. The relationship dynamics between relationship partners tell us about: How the couple interact with each other What they think of each other How they feel about each other Respect, love, and intimacy levels in the relationship Every relationship we’re …
Self-esteem is one of those topics that gets mentioned a lot. Everyone who uses the term has some idea of what it means. However, if you ask them to elaborate on it, they flail and hesitate, giving you the “it-is-what-it-is” look. Truth is, there are some misconceptions about self-esteem out there. Low self-esteem, in particular, …
Enmeshment is a family pattern in which there are no psychological boundaries between the family members. Hence, the family members seem psychologically fused together or enmeshed. The enmeshed family members seem to have no separate identities. Instead, identify with each other and seem to live each other’s lives. The enmeshed family members are overly involved …