Just as we feel physical pain when there’s something wrong with our bodies, we feel emotional pain when there’s something wrong with the non-physical parts of our lives. Pain is a feedback signal telling you that you must pay attention to and solve a problem. Emotional problems, real or perceived, cause emotional pain. Bigger emotional …
In healthy romantic relationships, there’s a balance of closeness and distance. Each partner retains their own identity while also identifying with the relationship to some degree. This interdependence helps partners meet some of their needs themselves, and some are met by their partners. When there’s too much closeness in the relationship, the dynamic becomes unhealthy. …
Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD) is characterized by avoidant social behaviors. Someone with APD avoids social situations and feels inadequate, anxious, and shy. They’re hypervigilant to social threats and fear rejection, criticism, and shame. A disorder is characterized by dysfunction and distress. In some disordered individuals, however, there’s distress, but there’s no dysfunction. They can even …
The terms ‘enmeshment’ and ‘codependency’ are often used together and sometimes interchangeably. That’s because the two concepts are closely related. Even though enmeshment and codependency are overlapping concepts, they have subtle but important differences. Enmeshment Enmeshment occurs when two or more people in a relationship setting, like a family, have a single, unified identity, which …
Scopophobia, also called scoptophobia or ophthalmophobia, is an excessive and irrational fear of being seen or stared at. It is derived from the Greek skopia, meaning ‘observation’ and phobos, meaning ‘fear’. Scopophobia is a specific phobia of a specific social situation that may or may not be a part of social anxiety or social phobia. …
Relationship trauma, also called Post-traumatic Relationship Syndrome (PTRS), is when your past relationship affects your current mental health negatively. It can occur due to abuse or betrayal. Although relationship trauma can occur in any relationship, it’s commonly talked about in the context of intimate relationships. The symptoms of relationship trauma occur after the end of …
Resentment is nothing but lingering anger, frustration, and disappointment. It’s an emotion that’s likely to breed in close relationships because people have high expectations in close relationships. When those expectations aren’t met, they’re likely to feel resentful. A resentful person has the mentality of: “You hurt me by not meeting my needs.” ‘Needs’ is a …
Trauma bonding happens when there’s a cycle of abuse going on in a relationship. Sometimes the other person is abusive towards you, and at other times, they’re good to you. This creates an intermittent reinforcement pattern that hooks you to the relationship. You know there’s something wrong with the relationship, but you can’t leave because …
Narcissism, like many other personality traits, exists on a spectrum. Most people have a mix of narcissistic and empathic traits. In some people, however, their narcissistic side overshadows their empathic side. We call these people narcissists. If their narcissistic tendencies are so pervasive and severe that they negatively impact their lives, they’re likely to suffer …
Thoughts can be conscious (voluntary) or subconscious (involuntary). If I ask you to solve a math problem, you’ll use your reasoning or conscious thought. The same is true for goal-setting, planning, and decision-making. All these require conscious thought. Conscious thoughts that arise from the conscious mind are a recent evolutionary phenomenon. The conscious mind is …